Weaning

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Weaning can be a long or short goodbye

it can happen at any time - from nursing, from pumping, or both. From bottles to cups, just during the night or just during the day, and so much more …

I like to think that any transition is a form of weaning - not only for our children, but for ourselves. It’s complicated - right!?!? All kinds of emotions come up - from relieved to sad; feeling freer but also feeling wistful, and so many feelings in between.

There are so many reasons, and many times, to wean. Your baby/child can be any age, you may want to wean because nursing or pumping is challenging, or because you are at the end of your lactation journey. You may want to wean for emotional or physical reasons. It’s always top of my mind that nursing and lactation is a two-person process - both you and your child matter. Just look at this amazing cat who cleverly told her owners and her babies that she would like to start weaning!

When it comes to weaning - the process will affect your minds and our bodies (both parent and child) as you progress through your journey. For this reason it’s better whenever possible to make weaning a tapered process - this allows you and your baby’s mind and body (and hormones) to adjust. If the goal is to reduce supply, the idea is to allow your breasts to be full enough to give the signal to lower milk supply, but not so full that you trigger engorgement or mastitis. Use breast massages/stretches and anti-inflammatory actions to keep your breasts happy and healthy while you are down-regulating your supply (see engorgement and mastitis pages for resources).

Going slowly through the weaning process also allows you space to determine if there is a “happy medium” - for example, many people realize partway through weaning that they are happy with a partial weaning - such as nursing during the day, but not longer at night; or pumping a few times per day (rather than full-time).

Of course sometimes weaning needs to happen quickly - there are solutions for any scenario and it’s important to tailor the way you approach things for your story. Through the process you want to track your mind and body (and the baby’s mind and body) during the changes you make. This will help you decide what steps to take next (or what steps to not take!) - work with your IBCLC to make the best plan for you!

And, take these ideas with you when you have other forms of “weaning” in your child’s life - potty training, going to school, sleeping in their own room, etc. Or even your own life - moving, changing jobs, retiring, etc. All transitions are filled with excitement and stress - and are made up of taking steps toward change, and also finding flexibility.

Weaning from pumping

Do any/all of the following three ideas until you either completed the process, or find a happy medium. Make sure to do the process only as quickly as your body and mind are comfortable - you may need to stay with each change for a few days before moving to the next. If you find a “happy medium” during the process - feel free to stay there!

  • Elongate the time between pumps - going from 8 per day, to 7 per day, and so on. Spread them out over the course of the day (as opposed to just skipping one - which might be a longer break than your breast can handle at first).

  • Limiting how long you pump - going from 15 min per session, to 12 min, and so on.

  • You can also limit by volume - set a maximum number of oz you want to pump, and then lower the amount slowly over time.

Weaning from nursing - younger baby

Most younger babies are amenable to taking bottles as a substitute for nursing (assuming you are not dealing with bottle refusal that is!), so the main methods are:

  • If your goal is to maintain supply: substitute a nursing session for a bottle, and pump at the same time so your body “knows” the baby fed and keeps up your supply). This could be one bottle at a time or more/all at once - whichever you want.

  • If your goal is to reduce supply while moving to bottles:

    • Do the above method of replacing bottles with pumping and then wean from pumping (see above).

    • Or, similar to weaning from pumping (above), slowly wean from nursing - start by giving the baby one bottle and then spacing out the rest of the nursings over the course of the day. For example from 8 to 7, then 7 to 6, etc. Avoid dropping consecutive feedings - which would be too long a gap at first for your breasts. Use breast massages/stretches to help avoid engorgement or mastitis.

Again, you may find there’s a happy medium of some nursing and some bottles/pumping along the way, or you may continue on to all pumping/bottles and no nursing.

Weaning from nursing - older baby or child

Weaning an older baby/toddler takes many considerations for the parent and the child. For older babies and toddlers sometimes replacing breastfeeding takes away your (and your baby’s) main tool for sleep, emotional regulation, etc. So, you want to think about new tools and ways to connect with your child before you wean. And, if you start the process and realize at some point that you prefer some/more nursing (or pumping) - that’s fine too - go back to what you were were doing, and try making changes in the future.

Ideas for weaning are so incredibly varied - here are just a few ideas to help:

  • Instagram videos by Emma Picket - they are lovely, taking into account the interplay between you and your baby, and both of your needs: Q&A on weaning older children and When your child is distressed during weaning.

  • Pick the first session that you want to wean from (perhaps one that is more challenging for you, but “easier” for your child) - typically this will be a daytime nursing when you can do another activity as a distraction.

  • Avoid areas or situations that trigger nursing when possible - like sitting in the chair you often nurse in.

  • Starting to set small rules (like “you can only have the right side now”, or “you can nurse until I count to 10” or any other idea that makes sense for you).  Over time you can expand on those rules (“we will nurse after we get home from the park”, “you can nurse when the sun comes up”, etc).   You are planting seeds for change over time.

  • Using distractions to their fullest (activities, play, other people, food/drink, etc)

  • Create new daily patterns that break the usual routine and may allow for fewer situations where the child thinks of nursing during the time you are looking to make a change.

  • Books written for kids to introduce weaning - there are many, so here are just a few to get you started:

  • Out of the box ideas

    • Breastmilk popsicles

    • Weaning party (complete with a boob cake, and “pin the baby on the mom” of course!)

Helpful Resources

Helpful Resources in Central NJ

  • Activities and Support in Central NJ - many classes, groups and more!   Great distractions for your child and a great way to make friends with other families in the area.

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